How Not to Lose a Guy in Ten Days
Photo via @madii-gracee on vsco.
It’s not him – it might actually be you.
As Sherry Argov explains in her 2002 self-help book “Why Men Love Bitches,” men prefer the “bitch” over the “nice girl.” Yet, the word “bitch” is not used in the colloquial sense. Rather, the term refers to a woman who is nice but selective about her availability. She’s independent, secure in herself, and doesn’t drop everything that’s important to her in order to please the man she’s dating. Instead, she prioritizes herself and lets the man assume his natural role of hunter and caregiver.
Although published nearly twenty-one years ago, Argov’s book went viral on TikTok in 2021 – and with good reason. “Why Men Love Bitches” is a woman’s guide to holding her own in a relationship, and teaches women how to turn themselves from a “doormat” into their man’s dream girl.
With the soaring popularity of social media, it’s easy to feel insecure and compare ourselves to those we see online – especially if those we follow are always travelling the world, partying with their friends every weekend, or are always pictured with the season’s hottest designer item. We might feel even worse if we’re stalking a crush and notice that he’s a frequent liker of risqué bikini photos.
Argov’s book is an Internet sensation because it empowers women to be their best selves while simultaneously revealing the inner thoughts and desires of men when it comes to love and relationships. By presenting this information with brutal honesty and a touch of comedy, Argov serves as the best friend the reader likely never had. With Gen Z’s seeming averseness to the practice of gatekeeping (i.e. limiting access to information), it’s not hard to understand why such a self-help guide would rocket to the top of numerous best-seller lists.
This viral nature indicates that many women are experiencing dating difficulties and need advice to remedy their situations. Argov’s guide, which contains detailed discussions of 100 “Attraction Principles,” serves as the perfect solution.
From the very first Attraction Principle (“Anything a person chases in life runs away.”) to the last (“The most attractive quality of all is dignity.”), “Why Men Love Bitches” has something valuable for every woman to learn.
The main themes underlying the book’s message are self-confidence and independence. As Argov explains, when a woman is secure with herself, a man won’t feel like he has a complete hold on her. And when he doesn’t have a complete hold on her, he eats out of her hand.
It’s also important to let men step into their natural role as hunters because “like any hunting animal, they are more intrigued by conquering prey when it resists the predator.” The majority of men, Argov writes, are turned on by the “bitch” because “it’s a thrill to take down a powerful woman.”
Men like a challenge. They like to achieve the impossible, so when they’re forced to go out of their way to see you, they’ll actually end up happier.
Although men will try to get women to be as accessible as possible, because it’s only natural that they’ll want to make things more convenient for themselves, the truth is that they don’t place a high value on easily-accessible women. Argov analogizes this fact to making a doctor’s appointment: “Most people would tend to value an appointment more with a doctor who appears to be fairly busy but is willing to accommodate them than with one who is always open like an all-night convenience store.”
The bottom line? A man always wants what he can’t have, and when he meets a nonchalant woman, it becomes a challenge for him to win her over.
“Why Men Love Bitches” is timeless. It applies just as much today as it did in the early 2000s simply because of the nature of man. When women let men be themselves by allowing them to initiate the relationship, everyone ends up happier.
